Walk quickly and do not make eye contact with people
Make your gaze soft and keep your head up, watching the fuzzy world around you
Hold a book with both hands, palms flat.
Use all your strength to flatten the book, even if your fingers turn white with strain
Breathe with your mouth open. Even if you are gasping for air, do not close your lips.
Keep your open lips in a rounded pout. Do not close your lips. If you do, you will resemble a dying fish.
The scream that hurls itself to your throat must become circular. When it dives up, push it down. Imagine it forcing your toenails to scratch the leather of your shoes. When it thrusts up again, repeat.
Wear sunglasses inside.
If you happen to be near a wall, coyly lean an elbow up against the brick and press your weight in. Imagine punching and pushing but do not make a fist.
If somebody speaks to you, find an excuse to laugh.
If somebody asks you how you are, answer, fine, how are you.
Always remember that proper young ladies do not punch strangers or hurl themselves in front of BART trains.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
I hope your graceful nervous breakdown is not due to the MFA thing. Because, honestly, it is not worth it. It's definitely emotional times, I feel ya, but there's always next year, and as many people have pointed out, many excellent (and published) writers don't get into programs. It's a very subjective and somewhat arbitrary process from what I can tell.
Post a Comment